Let’s Be Mad Together

Holy Youths in fiery furnaceA couple months ago I heard the story of the fiery furnace in the book of Daniel in the Bible (chapter 3). The story tells of King Nebuchadnezzar who built a tall golden statue that he ordered his people to worship. If they did not worship it he would throw them into a hot furnace to be burned to death. Yet the Jews in the king’s region refused. Along with other Jews, Azariah was thrown into the furnace. But he stood up amidst the flames and began to praise God. Just then God sent an angel to save them. The scripture says, “The angel of the Lord went down into the furnace with Azariah and his companions, drove the fiery flames out of the furnace and made the inside of the furnace as though a dew-laden breeze were blowing through it. The fire in no way touched them or caused them pain or harm.” (Daniel 3:49-50)

Dwelling with
What caught me was not that the men’s lives were saved but that the angel went inside the furnace to be with them. The angel did not save them from a distance. The angel first dwelt with them. There is great power in presence! It’s the presence of God we are still celebrating this Christmas season: God coming to dwell with us, not save us from a distant realm. A face-to-face meeting is more meaningful than a phone call. Thanks, God for not phoning it in.

As a hospital chaplain I learned that the most meaningful healing came not in fixing the problem but in my compassionate presence. Consider Mary and John at the foot of Jesus’ cross. Neither of them could fix what was happening but they remained steadfast and committed to him by their presence.

Let’s be mad together
I’m reminded of an episode of the TV programme Parenthood that aired last fall. Kristina’s son Max has Asperger syndrome, a form of autism, in which he cannot always make the best social judgements. After taking a candid photo for the yearbook of a high school classmate crying he is removed from photography responsibilities and instead placed on yearbook layout.

mad together parenthoodOne evening he is complaining to his mother that the change is not fair. His mother tries to explain that he will learn that life is not always fair, but he’s not taking it. He says he’s really mad about this. Kristina, who usually advocates for Max and tries to fix things for him, takes a breath and says, “You know what, I’m really mad about this, too. I’m so mad about this. So we’re just going to sit here and be mad together.” As the camera zooms back slowly we see them silent, sitting together in the unfairness, in the anger.

God is not always the Great Problem Solver. God’s role is not necessarily to fix all our problems, but God is indeed the Great Companion. In times of joy and sorrow, peace and struggle, God sits with us in our emotions and feels them along with us. Jesus modelled this on the cross and in his life, experiencing human challenges with us. The name Emmanuel does not just mean “God with us” in a physical way. “God with us” means suffering with us, laughing with us, lamenting with us, and smiling with us.

Kristina gave Max one of the best gifts: letting Max know that he’s not alone in his feelings. He’s got someone who loves him dearly. Azariah also knew he was not alone; God was with him in the fiery furnace. And God is with us too, in every moment of our lives.

>> Let God feel and experience your feelings and emotions in the Evening Examen.

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Music by Kevin MacLeod

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6 replies

  1. This is such an insightful post. I was a mother for many years before I realized that many of my daughter’s outbursts through her adolescent years were not her call for me to fix anything, but simply to validate her feelings…of anger, sadness, frustration. In a similar way when/if we go to God with such feelings of our own, we will experience the calming balm in His presence. Thank you for this and for your blog. I look forward to each post.

  2. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox
    and now each time a comment is added I get four emails
    with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from
    that service? Bless you!

  3. for some reason this came into mh inbox today, almost a year on… completely and utterly a timely word from God. My world has gone (temporarily I hope!) mad – and yet I know, sense, trust that God is sitting in the madness with me. As of now, I’ll stop asking Him to solve it and simply rest in His presence while it all happens.

  4. Thanks for sharing, Hope! It’s amazing how God can surprise us through simple messages. It takes a lot for me to be okay with the “sitting” rather than the avoiding or solving.

  5. currently it seems almost impossible to sit with myself, the “negative” feelings are so strong. The one anchor which holds me together is the knowledge that God is sitting right beside me – and that He sits right beside the _real_ me, the one which is feeling all these feelings which I was brought up to view a fundamentally wrong.
    Ignatian spirituality has begun to teach me that _all_ our feelings are God-given…

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