“Honey, I’m Good”: On Relationships, Desires, and Staying True

Andy Grammer’s recent single, “Honey, I’m Good,” is an energetic track that began the list of summer anthems this year. It’s solid “boom-clap” beat, catchy chorus, and simple composition all smell of radio bait. However, unlike many summer anthems of the past few years, Grammer’s lyrics focus on being committed to that one person you love rather than getting lucky or blurring lines. Moreover, I believe the lyrics’ deeper meaning lies in being open and honest about where one’s heart is and being unafraid of expressing the love one shares with another person to those that he or she meets.

Jeff and Chelsea

Jeff and Chelsea

I’ve been engaged to my beautiful fiancé Chelsea for almost eight months now (!). When I think about this song, she’s the one who Andy Grammer refers to as “my baby [whose] already got all of my love.” Being engaged to her has informed the ways that I create relationships with other people. The “mangagement” ring that I wear on my finger is a symbol to those I interact with and a reminder to myself that I have given my heart to Chelsea so that we can build a life together, for better or worse. Having this security in my relationship to Chelsea has opened my heart more deepening old friendships and seeking new ones out, since the relationship I share with Chelsea helps me ground myself in the person who I am and who I want to become.

Yet Grammer illustrates an important tension for those in committed relationships through his lyrical honesty. His song describes a night where he notices the “long, long legs damn near everywhere,” and talks to someone who, he admits, “[looks] good, I will not lie”. I believe that these lyrics, among others throughout the song, acknowledge the reality that both men and women continue to have desires for connection with others even after they meet and become committed to that one, special person. I think the importance of Grammer’s song is that it names a taboo reality that goes unspoken within relationships: individuals in relationships still possess desires outside of that relationship.

Now, this doesn’t give license for everyone in committed relationships to go and act on every desire he or she feels. Relationships require each individual to reflect and better understand their needs and desires and how they can live those desires out within the context of their relationship. These needs and desires will continue to change throughout the course of a lifetime, and sharing those with someone in the context of a committed relationship means that we need to communicate these interior movements with our partner. Moreover, better understanding these movements will allow us to interact with others without giving all of ourselves to every person we meet. People who have decided to commit themselves to someone else enter into a deeper relationship not only with the other person, but also with themselves.

Grammer ends his song by saying the phrase, “I will stay true.” I think that “staying true” in this context means that we don’t have to shut down connections that we feel with friends or in conversations with new people. We can engage our feelings in those moments of connection by acknowledging our own needs and desires, remembering where our hearts lie, and mastering how we manifest our interior movements to others through our words and actions. I’m sure it takes a lifetime to master the art of expressing ourselves to others in relationship, but having a partner by your side only heightens the possibility of achieving this mastery because the primary relationship you share with your partner brings you back to who we are and who we want to become.

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